21DJC-Day 21 - What is Your Biggest Wish for the Future?

I have finally come to an end of this 21 Day Journal Challenge. Today is the last day of this challenge, ended with the question: What is my biggest wish for my future?

I always tell myself that, I have achieved all the goals in my life, except one: to form a family.

I wish to have a husband with a few kids. I believe that with the family, I would be able to learn even more and move to the next level of my life.

I hope that my dream would be achieved by age of 32. I really hope so, and I’m working into it as well.

Tonight, I ended this last post of 21DJC with a short one.

21DJC–Day 20 - What Limiting Beliefs Are You Holding On To?

Today is the second last day of this Daily Journal Challenge program from Personal Excellence. Today’s question is: What is the limitting belief that hold me back from reaching to the next level in my life? (Phew~ a long question!)

With this long question, there is only one word as my answer: Confidence!

Yes, I don’t have confidence enough on myself. Before I’m to do something, I would ask myself: what is I cannot make it? What if something happen in between? What if… Many “what-if” questions would appear in my mind.

I know my appearance is not good enough, that’s why I’m lack of confidence. And that is the reason why, I accepted the challenge from my friend to reduce my weight for 10kg in 6 months. It might be tough for me, as this is my very first attempt to reduce my weight, but I would try my best.

I know my teaching skill is not good enough, so I try to be creative, inject a few new ideas into my lessons. Some of them failed, while some of them succeeded. From those ideas that failed, I figured out what the students think normally, and I would try to tackle their interests. (Sigh, it seems that it is not easy to be a lecturer. We still need to tackle the students’ interests in order to make it to be a good lesson)

I know my communications skill is not good enough, so I try to learn to communicate by joining Toastmasters Club. However, due to some issues, I decided to leave next year. I would concentrate on my Master course after that. It is not to say that communication skills is no longer important to me, but it is just that I know I cannot handle too many things at once. I would need full concentration in only one thing most of the time in order to come out with a good result. That is one of the reason that I decided to leave.

I know my drawing skill is not good enough, so I decided to start learning drawing myself, by taking note on how people draw and how I draw. I hope that I can enter to the competition one day too!

I know my photography skill is not good enough, so I decided to learn taking photos and edit photos in different styles, but not limit myself to only one style of photo editing. I would let my feeling flows!

All these happened because of lack of confidence in myself. So I started to take corrective actions. I would not let myself hold back with what I have planned and what I wish to achieve so much in my life, before I leave this world.

Go on! I can make it!

21DJC-Day 19 - What Words Best Describe You?

It is the 19th journal that I have written for this 21 Daily Journal Challenge. Today’s question is what words best describe me?

If I would to describe myself, I guess, the way people see me and the way I look at myself would be different. If other people look at me, they would always think that I’m a cheerful person. I always have smile on my face. But, I would to describe my own characteristics, I would say, I’m an emotional person. I’m easily affected by other people’s emotions. That is the reason why I always want to make people around me to be happy, because I want myself to be happy as well.

Besides, to myself, I think that I’m a highly motivated person. No matter how bad of feeling I have, I would be able to recover in a fast manner. I know that I have to go on with my life, so I cannot stop at the same place for long time, I cannot afford to. That is how I live until today.

In term of appearance, hmm… I have a bad word to describe myself, too casual. I seldom take note on my appearance, as long as I feel comfortable, I will wear the clothes. It is good in a way that I know what I want, but it is bad in term of trying out new clothes. I know I might have new taste if I would to try out new style of wearing. I know, just that I do not have the guts to try it out. =.="

That’s all for tonight. I feel kind of tired today, driving and working the whole day. Wish you enjoy your holiday.

21DJC–Day 18 - What Matters Most To You?

Yesterday, I skipped this journal again because of the business in preparation for today’s class. So today, I have my day 18’s question: What matters most to me?

After thinking for some time, I think, the only thing that matters me, is smiles of the people around me. I always hope that the people around me will be happy and smile. When they smile, I will feel happy.

Yes, I always mentioned that appreciation with sincere heart is important, and I’m a self conscious person, always thinking to make myself happy. This is the way how I make myself happy, or you can say that it is the matter of chicken and egg. Is there chickens exist in this world before eggs or vise versa?

I wish to make myself happy, so I make the people around me to be happy. The people around me feel happy, so I feel happy. To me, both are the same. So it doesn’t matter if I make people happy because I want to feel happy, or I feel happy because the people around me are happy.

Whether or not I’m doing good in making people to feel happy, I guess I will still in the learning stage, learn to make people feel happy. If it is not offended to my principles, I can be a clown, can be a laughing stock for the people around me.

As said, smile can draw relationships to be closer, while laughter can cure diseases. So, why not all of us smile or laugh all the time, so that we will have better relationship and keep ourselves away from diseases? Try it, we can always smile, if we have the wish to make the rest of the people to smile. We can always smile, if we take note on the details in our lives. We can always smile, if we appreciate for what we have currently.

21DJC–Day 17 - If The World Came To An End Today, How Would You Feel?

Today’s question is a common question, how would I feel if today is the end of the world? This topic always appears during the Toastmasters meetings, or even when we were writing essay in the secondary schools.

Different age, we have different thinking. If I were in secondary school, I would feel that I have not enough time to enjoy the life, enjoy the world. If I were in college, I would feel that I have not enough time to achieve my dreams, achieve my goals. And now, I’m an adult, and I have nearly achieved all my goals in my life, except for forming a family.

If today is the end of the day, how would I feel? I would say, yes, I’m ready to go, ready to leave this world, ready to survive in other spaces, if there were other spaces after we transform our lives. Since everything is the end, why should I still be persistent with my goals and desires? No matter how, everything is gone, there will be nothing left in this world, in this earth.

Maybe, we would have a different lives in the other world? Or maybe, we would transform to a new type / style of life? I would say, I always appreciate with what I have now, so there’s no regret, nothing left behind that I haven’t made it. So, just appreciate every moment we have, do not waste the time too much on unnecessary thing. Appreciate so that we have no regret! By the time when it comes to the end of the world, we would be able to say, YES, I’M READY!!

On the other hand, to prevent the world to come to an end, just appreciate the earth that we currently have. Do less damage towards it if possible. I’m practicing that as well. Just try my best to protect it (while I’m still turning on my air-condition system, as the weather is really hot nowadays…). I know everything will come to an end one day, but what we can do now is to prolong the life of our mother Earth. So, let’s work it out together.

21DJC–Day 16 - What Makes You Happy?

Yesterday’s question talked about pain, while today’s question is talking about happiness. What brings me happiness?

This is a simple question, but complicated answer. I would just say, there are 2 situations that make me happy. First, is that I’m able to be with my family / friends. Hanging out with family / friends, just to have a short break, or a meal. That’s good enough for me to feel happy, and let me know that I’m still alive, still having members supporting my life. Without family and friends, I have nothing left.

Second, is that when I feel satisfactory in me. There can be many reasons for me to feel satisfactory. For example, when I finish a craft work, a drawing, photograph editing, etc. Those are the satisfactory towards myself, my achievements. Sometimes, if other people achieved something, I feel happy for them as well.

Not long ago, 2 groups of my students, 30 students overall, all of them passed the test! I felt so happy! I felt happy not because I was good in teaching, but because of their efforts put into the assignments and tests. I felt happy to see them grow. Although they complained a lot about the difficulties of the assignments / tests, but at last, they passed! They have shown their efforts that they were able to make it. That was what I felt happy about.

Some of my friends said, they always can see smile on my face. Yes, I always feel happy that, I’m alive now. We don’t know what will happen in the next minute, or even the next second, so just appreciate what we have right now. If we have the chance to be happy, don’t hide, just explode it out and spread the happiness to the people around us! Let them feel the happiness together!

21DJC-Day 15 - What is the Most Painful Thing You Have Ever Experienced To Date?

What is the most painful thing i have ever experienced. There is only one thing that stuck in my mind since my childhood.

It was an incident that I couldn’t even tell my family. I know, once I say it out, things will change. That was during my childhood time. And now, I’m already an adult. I can tell, but I choose not to tell. I hope that time will cure my pain.

And yes, time cures it, slowly. Up till now, I’m slowly released from the pain. How many years that I have beared the pain? 5 years? 10 years? No, it has been 20 years. It became a nightmare for me when time past. Now, I want it to become a past incident that I can tell off, just like a story telling. So, I started to tell my friends about the story, but not to tell my family about it.

Anyway, it was pain. Now, it has past, and I’m released from it slowly. I know, I will be fully released one day.

21DJC-Day 14 - What Is Love?

Now it comes Day 14, I have done this journal series for 2 weeks! (In fact, it is more than 2 weeks, as I have skipped 2 days before) Today, the question is: What is love?

What does love mean to me? How do I identify that I’m loved by someone? What is the word that I can use to describe love?

Well, I always stress on “Appreciation”. Appreciate what other people have done to me. When I have the feeling of appreciation towards others, I have the feeling of love from them. It is pretty simple, isn’t it?

Just think about it, let’s say one day, you had everything running so terribly, all the things were messed up. Your work was wrecked out, your plan was ruined, you was escalated to your boss or your director, or even you are fired, retrenched, and you felt so depress about all that. You sat on a chair at the roadside, thinking about what had happened through out the whole day, and you was trying to figure out what had gone wrong. Suddenly, the rain fell down from the sky, even the god was trying to ruin your day. Your feeling went down to the bottom of your heart. And then, a stranger walked nearer and nearer to you. He stood beside you, holding an umbrella on top of your head, and asked you, “Friend, are you ok?”

How would you feel?

Yes, to me, the stranger, even though he was just a stranger to me, he had brightened up my day. He didn’t need to be my friend, didn’t need to do anything, just a question, and he could make me feel that I’m back to live. I would feel appreciate of his greeting, even though it was just a simple question. At least, there was someone out there that concern about me. Wouldn’t you feel warm?

So, just go on, concern about your friends. You might not be able to help out with their problems. But you can still be an audience to them. Show your love to your family members, your friends, your partners, your spouse, or even to a stranger that needs help (Of course, you need to take note if the stranger is suspecious…). Remember, your question of concerning, might turn a person alive again.

Personal Dictionary #1

Today, I decided to start off my personal dictionary by collecting the vocabularies while I’m reading the English posts / novels. I will make sentences with the new vocabularies. I’m to improve my vocabularies.

1. mediate – (v) 调解，劝说；(adj) 间接的
: I tried my best to mediate the misunderstanding between them, but I failed.

2. trauma – (n) 创伤，伤口
: I always believe that time will reduce the trauma in our heart.

3.heed – (n) 注意力，关怀，注意；(v) 注意，听从
: The incident brought up my heed and so I noticed about his suspecious actions.

4.intimidate – (v) 恐吓
: He intimedated her for not telling her family about what he has done to her.

5. perpetuate – (v) 延续
: The existance of this statue perpetuates the spirit of the great leader!

6. intervention – (n) 干预，加入
: Your intervention will just ruin the whole project.

7. qualm – (n) 疑虑（指对所做的事是否正确的疑虑）
: He has no qualms in crossing the line of labour laws.

8. amiable – (adj) 和蔼可亲的
: You can hardly find amiable students in this class because they are reluctant in getting to know each other.

21DJC-Day 13 - What Do You Fear Most?

Last night I had a gathering with my zither mates and back at home quite late, so I missed this journal again (2nd time). Today, I will continue with the question, what do I fear most?

After I calmed myself down, I asked myself again, what do I fear most? I know, many people afraid of dying. In fact, if you tell me that I’m going to die tomorrow, I have not much fear, as of now. I would not say that I’m definitely not afraid of that as I wouldn’t know what I would think of when the situation comes.

To me, currently, what I fear most is illness, diseases. I live to be happy, so I always concern about how much happiness I can bring to myself in my whole life. I want to make sure that I have no regrets when I leave this world. But, when I hear about my relatives or my friends’ family members getting cancer, or any diseases, I feel that it is even more fearful than dying itself.

If a person dies straight away without much pains, I would say the person is lucky enough to have a good ending in his life. Whereas, if a person dies after the torturing of diseases, he is leaving the world unpeacefully. Further more, when the person is suffering from diseases, it is not himself the only person to feel the pains, but it brings a chain effect to the family members as well. Family members feel sad and worried when looking at the expression of the person while having the pain. It is also a torturing to the family members.

Thus, I’m to say that, health is always more important than wealth. I have to take good care of my health – this is the recent concern to myself. That is one of the reasons, why I started to work out to reduce my weight. I have never wished to be a pretty lady. I was born to be in this way, that is given by my parents, and I appreciate it. I just want to live with a healthy body. That is not to let my parents worry about me, and also a way for me to keep myself happy.